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Posts Tagged ‘Inspire’

IFB Weekly Roundup! Sheepish confession

13 Feb

Sleep deprivation didn’t work out so well for me this past week. I managed to completely forget to post the round-up when my post Favorite Body Parts made Independent Fashion Blogger’s top twenty. I was honestly so excited and honored that I don’t know how I managed to space out.

I’m comforting myself with the old “better late than never” and sheepishly posting this just a tad late. If you haven’t already checked out IFB, I highly recommend it. It’s a wonderful resource for style bloggers.  I also encourage you to read the other posts featured below. There’s a lot of good stuff to be had.

Links à La Mode: The IFB Weekly Roundup

So long, farewell

Edited by Thom of The Sunday Best
Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons. My run as an editor for this venerable list is coming to a close, and as it does I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what makes the internet such an awesome place. Ahem. It’s you. Yes, you! I don’t get to read as much online as I once did, and this list kept me in touch with the, dare I say it, zeitgeist of style writing. I was often amazed at the diversity of topics you writers were willing to tackle. Keep those keyboards clacking, stay strong, and be good to the incoming editors. We are only human.

Thomas…out.

Links à la Mode: February 3rd

SPONSOR:
Shopbop Sale: Splendid, C&C, Vince, Elise Overland, YFB, IRO, Gwen Stefani, Nili Lotan, Ella Moss, James Perse, LNA, Velvet

 
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Posted in Fashion

 

30 for 30 Winter, day 2. Goth girl.

02 Feb

Reliving those old goth days

“I’m an idiot.”

Actually, I’m not. I would venture to say I’m quite intelligent. This just happens to be what I say to myself when I’m being forgetful or mindless around the house. Let’s say I sit down and realize my glasses are still in the other room. More often than not I say this out loud with a little drama. I would never speak to you that way, it’s not really nice. It’s not even true which makes it the worse kind of message to keep carelessly tossing around. One of these days I might start to believe it.

A while back I decided to stop. I do not have any heart for this bad habit, I’m quite nice to myself otherwise. At least I try to be. Today I was contemplating the fact that not only did I not make any New Year resolutions I almost missed out on the timing of a much more clever idea. One which ties nicely to the start of the new year: acknowledging what I’m already doing right.

Erin of Design for Mankind did this. After making a list of resolutions, she focused on what she’s been doing right rather than what she needed to change. She called it her list of non-goals. I told her I was all over that idea, it’s more my style anyway. I think changing a negative affirmation is a great thing to nurture. It’s certainly not a bad way to kick off a new year. I’ve got the right idea and I need to keep at it. It’s a bad habit, not a core belief. If I ever make a list, this one will be on it.

It comes down to kindness. I recently posted about using kind eyes when looking at or judging ourselves. A similar thought was captured today by Sal of Already Pretty. Here’s a snippet of what she said:

“But I’m here to tell you that being kind to yourself is vital. It is vital in the original meaning of the word: It is necessary for the maintenance of life. Being constantly unkind to yourself erodes your confidence, diminishes your self-worth, and extinguishes your individuality. Giving all your kindness away and reserving none for your own body, mind, and soul leaves you dry and empty. Eventually, you’ll have nothing left to give.”

She’s on to something. Check out the rest of her post. And if you don’t get around to it, it’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

- – - – -

Onto outfit number two. As my leggings happened to be winning at playing hide and seek, I incurred a last minute outfit change. You know what doesn’t photograph well? All black. Especially all black taken by hubby in a hurry.

I, Fabienne Jach, do solemnly swear to get an earlier start tomorrow morning. And hey, check out how many remixers there are!

Deets: Black empire waist dress/Max Studio, black turtleneck/Benetton, black tights/unknown, purple chiffon scarf/Georgiou, black ankle boots/Munro, black handcarved gingko earrings/Braindrops, tree of life pendant/gifted, plastic flower bracelet/Anthropologie.


Photo: Filip Jach

 
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Posted in Fashion

 

Favorite body parts

26 Jan
A windy morning in the hills
The thrifted scarf was such a find

What is your definition of beautiful?



Merriam-Webster states: The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the sense or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.


A while back I read a thoughtful post on body image by Sal, from Already Pretty, which brought back to mind a topic of conversation I’d had this summer with some friends. When it comes to our personal assessment of beautiful it can be fleeting and subjective. How do we define our beauty? Is it spirit? Is it physical? Is it emotional? Can it be contained? It is likely to be all of those things and more.

I challenge each and every one of you to assess yourself; how are you defining your beauty? We are bombarded with how-to’s, tips, tricks, fixes and examples of ways to improve. One can’t improve upon something that does not exist; how can we define our beauty when there are so many messages reinforcing the ways with which we are falling short and require outside interference?

How are you using your eyes and mind to view yourself? Are they kind?

As I age I find myself navigating different phases of my body, mind and heart. Fascination has slowly replaced negative association. Nurturing has replaced self-deprecation. It has taken years to get here; it is not foolproof. We all have our days, after all. If we were to throw away every metric we use to judge physical beauty, would we still find the tonal changes of skin that come with age undesirable or would it just be different?

Different.

We strive to be unique and yet we want to belong. This is another example of an “either/or” scenario that clearly functions better as an “and”. After all, we’re just human. I checked in with some of my favorite humans not too long ago and asked them to share with me their favorite body parts. I asked that they not waste space in this post with humility, excuses or deflection; just name it.

I was impressed with the amount of attributes each person shared. We all inherently like certain, if not many, things about our bodies yet we’ve been conditioned to focus on the negatives. There’s a misconception out there that liking and appreciating ourselves is the great evil that is vanity. Here’s a sampling of what I heard, starting with my own.

“My butt. There, I said it. The shelf. It’s round! I like my skin, especially as it changes. I like the color and I have inverted freckles now, there’s a pattern of three on my right arm that always makes me think of dominos. I like my eyes and my smile. When I smile I feel more attractive. I get freckles and age spots on my face that one of my friends said looked like a heart shape. I like that! I love my legs, they’re really strong. I like my stomach area, too. And my hair. It’s naturally unruly but behaves really well with a little love” – Fabienne

“My moles. A lucky-placed one left and above my lip, a-la Marilyn, and three that form a triangle above my heart. My face. I use it all the time! It’s so expressive & zany ^,.^ The skin on my back and arms.  I’ve been told it’s soft, and therefore I get pet a lot by my friends and loved ones :)- Telene

“When it comes to describing just one particular body part that I like the most about me, I struggle to name one. Instead a number of body lines converging together come to my mind: especially the rear view of my arms, shoulders, hips and buns that melt together into my waistline. And as I’m writing this paragraph, I go through a list of my body parts again: hips, shoulders, arms, small of my back, my belly, etc. and  I’m realizing that, as a result of your survey, I’m getting closer to that ONE thing. So, I have to say that my waistline is my favorite body part because it is the place where my curvy hip and bun lines narrow down to a “deep valley” and then widen up again towards my shoulders and arms creating flowing curves of my female body. Now, put all that in motion with a sound of music and imagine it dancing!” – Barbie

“The obvious are my breasts. (Yes, I like them too) and my face, skin, eyes and hair.  I like my body shape as well although I tend to be critical about extra weight.  I like my hands and my fingers, feet and toes too. Wow. I didn’t realize I liked so much!” – Donna

“I like my hair, wrists, ankles and eyes. My hair (as you know) is wild and easy to wear. My wrists and ankles are actually fairly tiny and dainty. I need that since I’m fairly muscular (and round) and need the extra feminine touch. My eyes I’ve received compliments on over the years. Being almond shaped with brown into green (when exposed to the sun), they give me a little more of my Middle Eastern pizzazz-lol! Windows to my crazy soul!” – Ingrid


I have to admit I almost got teary-eyed reading my friends’ comments. I understand what a long road it was to get to this place of just liking who they were. I was surprised at my own list, I never thought it would contain so much. Did any of these comments resonate with you? Did any inspire you to see yourself differently? We’re never going to be completely above self-criticism but what if we changed the way we saw ourselves to be more realistic? What if we leveled our personal beauty playing field? 

Because you can dress it and undress and dress it back up again but you can’t detach yourself from your body. Why would we ever want to? The human body is an amazing organic machine. What are your favorite body parts? Make a mental or physical list and keep it handy. Refer to it every time you doubt yourself, any time you are comparing yourself to another. If you only make one resolution this year, change the way you see yourself before trying to change yourself.

There’s only one you: Fascinating, unique, one-of-a-kind beautiful you. I would love it if you shared with me and other readers what your favorite body parts are below. Say it loud and proud!

A special thanks to my girlfriends who made time in their busy schedules to participate. An additional thanks to Sal from Already Pretty for encouraging positive body image regularly. If you haven’t already checked out her site, I encourage you to do so.


Deets: Hot pink dress/H&M, scarf/thrifted, grey patterned tights/Hue, faux cowboy boots/ModCloth, silver belt/unknown, silver cuff and ring/Lois Hill, black gingko earrings/Braindrops.

 

 
 

Paying it forward, or giving back?

08 Jan
The view of Lake Tahoe at Diamond Peak is epic! 

Snowbunnies!

Last night, I grabbed my very first of three snowboards, a Burton Custom, and outfitted it with my friend’s bindings. I tracked back to everything I knew to make sure she would be set up optimally for where she is with her riding. This board is dear to me, it was the board that defined my commitment to the sport when I was still gripped with fear. This was a guy’s sport and I was thirty-two at the time. I made a financial investment, I owned my own gear. I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me I couldn’t do this.

I still didn’t really know anything other than I loved this sport. I had no idea that overcoming the fear of trusting my body and my gear would shape my confidence into the next decade. Today was a day I got to give back. After I set up the bindings, I dropped it off to get waxed so it would be ready to move into the next phase of its life. It had been gathering dust for a few years, I’d outgrown it a while back. I didn’t want to sell this board, I wanted to pass it on.

I spent the day on the mountain with my friend Donna. I followed her lines, we would stop and break, take a few pictures and discuss what to focus on next. I got to give back. Or pay forward. Does it matter? The heart doesn’t need justification.

There are moments in life where it’s more rewarding to give than to receive. The greatest gift is watching someone find their confidence, their fire. Seeing the light and joy in their eyes as they start discovering their potential. I had seen her potential a while back and knew at some point the time would be right for this. Today was the day.

I celebrate her potential, I celebrate our friendship. This friendship is not one-sided, this just happened to be my day to give back. Or pay forward.

Does it matter?