RSS
 

Posts Tagged ‘tights’

FBFF Q&A: Outside influences

13 May

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing beige skirt and dusty rose blouse with black boyfriend blazer
Schoolgirl
Daily outfit and style tip, wearing beige skirt and dusty rose blouse with black belt
Better defined

{ fbff: }

What made you think of putting these pieces together? What keeps you coveting that particular brand? The topic this week on Fashion Beauty Friend Friday is outside influences. We draw inspiration from other style bloggers but that can’t be all. What gives?

FBFF: What magazines do you subscribe to?

FJ: Vogue, Lucky, More, O, The New Yorker. I like Vogue for the interpretive and artistic element of the themed pictorials most. I like Lucky because it speaks to the average gal out there, that’s me! More and O focus more on lifestyle topics specific to women over forty, (yes, life goes on!), and developing a stronger mind-to-heart connection in your daily life, respectively. The New Yorker is a pillar, I can be captivated by a topic that holds no interest to me because it is written so well, I lose myself in each story.

FBFF: Do you watch any fashion TV shows?

FJ: I watch almost no television, believe or not, just a few Showtime and HBO shows.

FBFF: Beyond blogs, what websites do you frequent for fashion inspiration?

FJ: None for specific fashion inspiration. I’m in a creative field so my ordinary day probably exposes me to a lot of stimuli most don’t get without specifically seeking it out. I’ve also just always played “dress up” on my own. I observe everything around me, I’m primarily a visual person with a strong analytical streak. I notice what other people do with their style and let it inspire me.

FBFF: Advertisements play a huge role in forming public opinion about a product or brand… what ads do you like and why?

FJ: Chanel comes to mind. They’ve always been consistent and their related media reaffirms my belief that they have high standards and deliver a quality product. I realize that without facts it’s an assumption based on impression. But they do such a good job selling me on that idea, that’s the consistent part that draws me in. I can attest to the quality since becoming a consumer. Old Navy does a great job really targeting their audience in a way that is ownable to them.

FBFF: Do you own any fashion books?

JF: A few, I’m just now starting to buy them. (Is it too early to starting putting in a request, Santa?) I only recently acknowledged my fascination with fashion. I know how absurd that sounds but I was raised to believe it was frivolous. While I spent money of fashion and read fashion magazines, I subconsciously believed that spending any money outside of the practical aspects of this particular passion was out of the question. I’m pretty sure I was the last one to acknowledge the obvious. I’ve always been more into fashion and personal style than most people I interact with.

Thank you Katy of Modly Chic for crafting this topic. Friend Friday is an opportunity for fashion and beauty bloggers to share their thoughts on a specific topic and read what others have to say on that same topic. For more information, check out Modly Chic and welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!

{ style tip: }

Made a blunder? Own to it and fix it. I took the first photo in the morning. I had the cute little black bow, the boyfriend blazer, basically, I looked like an oversized kid. The proportions of the baggy top over the baggy skirt with a bow looked all wrong. I got to work cursing myself for ever getting dressed without giving a trial run the day before. Yes, sometimes I do that. It’s not always sunshine and roses in my closet.

Emergency action plan: I took a quick break to run to the trusty Dress Barn around the corner from where I work and picked up a big black wide belt. I tucked the blouse in, lost the jacket and bow and voila! A figure better defined. Never be afraid to rethink an outfit if it’s not sitting well with you. You’re going to look great when you feel great!

Have you saved an outfit on the fly? What was the problem and what solution did you come up with?

{ deets: }

Dusty rose blouse/ModCloth, beige skirt/Urban Outfitters, black boyfriend blazer/BDG, Urban Outfitters, floral pattern tights/Nordstrom’s, black ballet flats/Ecco, silver and mother-of-pearl cuff/Lois Hill, cat eye sunglasses/Michael Kors.

 

 
 

Confession

02 May

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tips, wearing white shorts and vintage ivory blouse
A sophomore attempt

I have a confession to make. I have never before in my life dressed up a pair of shorts. Not until last month, anyway. After seeing Stephanie of The Loudmouth and her friend Bryn rock the shorts in Vegas, I knew I had to try it. I dipped my toes, so to speak, at my friend’s birthday party knowing I was in a safe place should things start feeling awkward. As it turns out everything worked out just fine. I’m always amazed at how trying something new can feel so daunting.

I figured if I could pull it off once, I can pull off again.

I picked up these litte babies a few weeks ago, the eyelets and the fact that they’re made of organic cotton did me in. I had a vision of wearing them out on a date. We were invited to a tequila tasting in San Francisco on Saturday, which we followed up with dinner at a new restaurant. It was a fairly warm late afternoon and I had my coat with me. For those of you who don’t know San Francisco’s weather, it rarely gets hot and often gets chilly in the evenings, hence the precautionary coat. My outfit was incredibly comfortable—of course it was—I was wearing shorts! I was even complimented which is always a nice treat.

Daily outfit and style tips, wearing white shorts and gold tights
The gold tights are very shimmery

We tasted about six brands of tequila; starting with blanco, continuing with reposado and finishing with añejo. If they offered a special reserve of some sort we tasted those also at the end. The concept behind tasting the blanco first is that it’s still young and the forward flavor is representative of what will be the foundation which carries into the more aged reposado and añejo. If you don’t like the blanco at all, it’s likely that you won’t enjoy the more aged tequila of that harvest either.

And you thought this blog was just about fashion.

This is what happens when you’re married to a man who knows his spirits. A little is bound to rub off. My favorite tequila of the night was the Casa 7 Leguas. As much fun as it was to taste tequila there was only so much stimulation my palate could handle before calling it quits. As you can imagine, we had a lovely time.

{ style tip: }

Go for it! Be adventurous and daring, try something new! If it feels daunting, give it a trial run when visiting close friends just like I did. You’ll be more comfortable and should there be a wardrobe malfunction you can all have a good laugh.

{ deets: }

White organic cotton eyelet shorts/H&M, vintage ivory blouse/thrifted, gold tights/Urban Outfitters, ochre yellow elastic belt/Anthropologie, suede khaki shoes/Earthies, steampunk dragonfly necklace/gifted.

 
16 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

It’s Easter all week

28 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tips, wearing pink jacket, bows and flower dress
Has anyone seen my basket?

I’ve been dying to wear this dress forever but I had to wait for Easter first. It’s really just my silly rule, but I can’t make myself wear it before then, it’s got Easter written all over it.

Just look at the explosion of pinks and blues, the little flowers and bows, I practically feel gift-wrapped. It qualifies as what my friend would refer to as “cutesy pie”. It is.

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing bows dress and pink jacket,
Hey, what’s over the fence?

This morning’s photo session was captured with a healthy mix of haste and humor. I begged the hubby to quickly take the pictures before getting in the car. Our haste made for bad photo after bad photo, you just can’t rush a good thing. Silliness ensued. He specifically directed these poses and they were too much fun not to share.

Daily outfit and style tips, wearing pink jacket, bows and flower dress,
Detail of flower pattern
Daily outfit and style tips, big red heart ring
I <3 big rings!

He said I looked like a little kid. The big plastic heart ring probably didn’t help. I just needed oversized bunny ears to complete the look.

{ style tip: }

This dress is has got a lot going on: Flowers, pinks, blues bows and more bows. Between the details and the structure of this dress it would be easy for it to feel too formal for work. To keep it light and fresh, I went with floral lace and fishnet tights in a pale beige, flat casual shoes and a fun, bright pink corduroy jacket. The effect was perfect for a sunny spring day.

{ deets: }

Bows dress/ModCloth, floral lace and fishnet tights/DKNY, pink corduroy jacket/thrifted, flat casual shoes/Naturalizer, red heart ring/H&M. Note: I would not recommend this particular style from DKNY. They gave me what I can only describe as a “sausage legs” effect. The elasticity of the weave was not consistent and pinched into my skin, even throughout the less fleshy parts. I have other similar tights from Nordstrom’s that fit much better.

{ photos: }

Filip Jach

 
9 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

Pin it! A new love affair

20 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing lilac cashmere v-neck, yellow belt and ivory lace dress
Lilac details and dragonfly necklace
Daily outfit and style tip, wearing lilac cashmere v-neck, yellow belt and ivory lace dress
Matching the lilac pansies in my garden

 

I recently went thrifting. I’ve been on a mission to recreate an outfit based on a DKNY outfit I saw last week. As a personal challenge, I want to do it from thrifted items. So far, I have a shirt and blazer along with all kinds of additional unrelated pieces, such as this lilac cashmere pullover sweater. It’s soft and lovely and so light and perfect. I have a particular fondness for cashmere.

The steampunk-inspired dragonfly necklace is another anniversary gift from my hubby. I guess seven years gets you two gifts. I like that.

{ latest obsession: }

I’ve been asked to participate in a Pinterest feature through the end of the month as one of many style bloggers who’ve recently discovered and fallen in love with it. Pinterest is your personal online pinboard. Simple. You see an image of something you like, you “pin” it. The application captures the image and url, you save it into your “board”.

Take the concept of tearing an image out of a magazine and pinning it to a cork board. On the internet. You can organize, categorize, share, tag, comment; it’s full of the social networking features that most of us are familiar with. You can share your boards and see others’. You will be hooked.

I discovered it recently when I saw a tweet mentioning it. I checked it out and have been using it ever since. In fact, it’s what I used to capture images for my post about the five trends I was looking forward to this spring. I’ve also started pinning ideas for DIY’s along with ideas for my living space and places I want to travel to.

Here’s the coolest part.

I’ve been invited to solicit comments from you, my readers, about how you would choose to use it and to let me know if you’re interested in signing up. I have been offered fifteen invitations to pass along.

Check out how I’m using it.

Pinterest The House in the Clouds dashboard
My dashboard, showing a few boards
Pinterest The House in the Clouds pins
Some of my pins

{ style tip: }

Don’t be afraid to mix and match unusual colors together. The lilac sweater and ochre yellow belt are not your typical combination but made a beautiful pair. If you feel reticent to try this, start small with a scarf or a belt.

{ deets: }

Lilac cashmere sweater/thrifted, ivory lace dress/Jeremy’s, ochre yellow belt/Anthropologie, purple tights/Hue, purple patterned scarf/The Gap, steampunk dragonfly necklace/gifted, silver and mother-of-pearl cuff/Lois Hill.

 
4 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

Happy Anniversary, F2!

18 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing tiered lace and satin skirt with seafoam green top
Looking forward to a lovely dinner
Daily outfit and style tip, wearing tiered lace and satin skirt with seafoam green top

 

F2 is my husband and I, both our names start with the letter “F”. Sunday was our seven year anniversary. There was some quality relaxation going on followed by a lovely dinner at Plum.

I had him quickly snap this photo of me before heading out. He always makes me laugh!

{ style tip: }

I chose to wear opaque tights with my lacy, frilly skirt instead of more lace. The opaque nature of the darker tights elongated my legs and drew the attention upwards, towards the skirt and top, allowing those pieces to stand out and shine.

{ deets: }

Seafoam green top/Urban Outfitters, tiered lace skirt/ModCloth, mocha microfiber tights/We Love Colors, suede khaki shoes/Earthies, steampunk dragonfly necklace/gifted, silver and mother-of-pearl cuff/Lois Hill, hand-carved black gingko leaves earrings/Braindrops.

{ photo credit: }

Filip Jach

 
16 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

Happy Anniversary, FBFF!

14 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing a brown plaid shift with mocha tights and brown boots
Mad for plaid

{ fbff: }

This is the official one-year anniversary of FBFF! In the spirit of gratitude, participating bloggers have been asked to share the love. I like to share. I wish I had tea and cookies to offer you. Come in, sit down and kick off your shoes. It’s Friday, after all.

FBFF: When it comes to me personally, I owe a lot of who I am to:

FJ: My best friends, both male and female. They’ve been such good role models of compassion, optimism, friendship; they’re good people, they’re caring, funny, silly and know how to have a great time without getting self-conscious. They’re beautiful and supportive, curious and intelligent. They’re generous of spirit, they don’t shy away from telling the ones they love “I love you.” How can I not evolve into a better human around them? I feel their love and support in my heart 24/7.

FBFF: When it comes to me professionally, I owe a lot of who I am to:

FJ: My dad, for expecting the best from me always and my friend and former employer, Inez H. She’s an incredible force to be reckoned with and wasn’t going to let me get away with not living up to my potential. She taught me in my very early 20′s to have a voice, an opinion, to stand up for myself, do my research, question everything and always try harder. The credits are complete without giving credit to my seventh grade English teacher, Mr. Paluzzi. I knew someday I’d have the opportunity to thank him. He believed in my writing and pushed me. I wrote my first poem “Flying Forever, Forever Free” in his class and got the highest grade for it. If you’re familiar with my moniker, Flyingfabu, you can see the connection.

FBFF: When it comes to the art of blogging, I’m grateful to these people for helping me through some rough spots:

FJ: I don’t know where to start or who to pick out. I’ll say that reading about other bloggers struggling with a lot of the same issues I have had here and there has helped me connect to them and feel their support. In a lot of ways, participating in this group has shed a lot of light on the similarities between us all. I can start by saying, “thanks, Katy!”

My hubby has also been an incredible source of tech support, I definitely have to give him props, too.

FBFF: One blogging challenge I’m grateful happened because it made me stronger was:

FJ: Kendi’s 30 for 30 challenge. It kick-started it all. Let me tell you, I felt very self-conscious at first. I quickly learned to get my act together, start thinking about what I was doing, finding my voice, defining my online presence. I learned something new in a short period of time that will carry over to other avenues. I do feel stronger.

FFBB:  To my readers, I’d like to say:

FJ: A big humongous THANK YOU! I read every comment, I listen to you and feel your support. I honestly wish I had the time to reply to every single one but it doesn’t mean any less that I don’t. I do take the time every chance I get to visit your blogs, I’m always interested in the faces and characters behind the names and comments. I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of you and it has enriched my life.

You keep me inspired and keep me from getting lazy. I feel like the luckiest woman; I’m so grateful to have a healthy, fun and creative outlet that is also an avenue for connecting with others, (that’s YOU!)

 

Thank you Katy of Modly Chic for crafting this topic. Friend Friday is an opportunity for fashion and beauty bloggers to share their thoughts on a specific topic and read what others have to say on that same topic. For more information, check out Modly Chic and welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!

{ style tip: }

A straight shift can be boxy, even on the curviest figure. The dress I’m wearing today works because it’s short and keeps the proportions in balance. The added height of my low-heeled boots elongate my legs just enough. Rather than wear tights the same shade of espresso brown as my boots, I wore mocha tights to add more dimensionality to an otherwise monochromatic palette.

{ deets: }

Brown plaid shift/ModCloth, courtesy of Ana of Better in Sepia, mocha microfiber tights/courtesy of We Love Colors, beige pashmina shawl/Nordstrom’s, brown vegan suede boots/Munro, coral rose and sparrow necklace/Linkel Designs.

 
 

The words behind the pictures

13 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing black dress with light blue bows and blue tights
The dainty pattern on these tights were a nice touch against the chunky sandals

{ full time fabulous, an explanation: }

Last Wednesday, as part of a Full Time Fabulous blog event, I posted the following pictorial deliberately without explanation to create a visual sense of where I come from and how that influences me. Today, I’m elaborating. Each description starts clockwise from top left.

A visual representation of myself through photography
Yerba Buena fountain • Sunset trail, Joaquin Miller Park • Sunset over Mt. Tamalpais

1:  This Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. quote is inscribed into the wall behind the fountain in Yerba Beuna Gardens, in South of Market, (SOMA), San Francisco. I lived for four years just a few blocks away. I got married a year and a half ago right above the fountain, right above the inscription. The inside of my wedding band has the word “freedom” engraved in it.

2:  When we moved into our current home in the Oakland hills nine months ago, I started running in Joaquin Miller Park. This particular trail is one of the few not under a canopy of eucalyptus and redwood trees. There’s a bench on that trail for people to sit and watch the sunset over the bay. Running is one of my favorite ways to shake off the day’s stress.

3:  The sunset every night is visible from our living room window. It’s better than watching television. I make it a point to call the hubby over every time the sun sets so that he can see it too. I can see Alameda, San Francisco, both the Bay and Golden Gate Bridges and Mt. Tamalpais. It’s breathtaking.

A visual representation of myself through photography
Austin Creek park • Flower, Guerneville • Mission Bay Park

1:  When we got married, we camped right there for a couple of nights among the redwoods in Austin Creek park before joining our friends for a long weekend of celebration.

2:  When we lived in SOMA, I would run the streets of San Francisco, sometimes around Mission Bay Park which is near the new ballpark. There are houseboats right across from new condos which makes for an interesting and unique juxtaposition. This poster was tagged on a fence by the Fourth Street bridge, it cracked me up.

3:  After camping at Austin Creek park, we joined our friends in Guerneville. The house we stayed in had a beautiful garden. This was one of the flowers in the garden.

A visual representation of myself through photography
Tugboat, The Embarcadero • Bay Bridge • Calla Lily

1:  When I lived in SOMA, another of of my running paths would be from my house to The Embarcadero, all the way down to Pier 23 and back. I loved running by the firehouse and seeing the tugboat with the Bay Bridge in the background.

2:  San Francisco is notoriously foggy in the summer. The hubby and I were driving home over the Bay Bridge from Oakland. I snapped this picture of the sunset bursting through under the blanket of ominous fog.

3:  When I first moved to San Francisco, I noticed Calla Lilies grew everywhere easily. I had some growing in the garden where I lived in the Haight. They needed nothing from me, they just grew. I associate them with happy times. When we moved out of San Francisco, we stayed with a friend in the Oakland hills before finding our place. This Calla was growing in his yard.

A visual representation of myself through photography
Diamond Peak resort, Nevada, Sight Glass Coffee, Soma • Graffiti, Soma

1:  For the last five years, my best friends and I have rented the same house for New Year’s in Incline Village in Nevada. This is the view from the top of the ridge at Diamond Peak. Snowboarding is my favorite sport, my friends are my favorite people.

2:  When my hubby and I still lived in San Francisco, we would sometimes go for walks. We both really like our coffee. Sight Glass had just opened up and was sometimes a lazy Sunday destination.

3:  San Francisco has always been a walkable city. There’s plenty of graffiti and beautiful murals to see. I took this picture when my best friends and I were hanging out for HowWeird Street Faire.

It seemed impossible to gather enough photos to tell my story, I was born in Lebanon, lived in Cyprus for a while and landed in the San Francisco Bay Area at age eight. It seemed more significant to gather pictures that I have quickly snapped with my phone when I’m out and about, walking, running, just doing what I love.

This is the way I see the world and this is how my world touches me.

{ style tip: }

Tights are perfect for spring when it’s too cool to bare legs. They can work with some sandals, especially one that is a little chunky or has a platform for visual balance. Beware of tights that have a visible reinforced toe and seam, keep them under wraps to avoid looking unfinished or awkward.

Have you worn tights with sandals? How did you do it? I’ve never been bold enough to try them with different types of sandals and would love to hear what’s worked for you.

{ deets: }

Black bow dress/ModCloth, blue tights/Urban Outfitters, silver and mother-of-pearl cuff/Lois Hill.

 

Color blocking

12 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing violet dress, red tights, aqua cardigan
Now that’s a lot of color

I realized I had a presentation the day after doing my nails. In pink camo. What’s a girl to do but distract them with a bright violet dress? It must have worked, not a peep was said about the fingernails. I admit I have a reputation for colorful outfits at work. It’s hard not to notice an explosion of color walking by in a sea of corporate-appropriate garb.

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing violet dress, red tights, aqua cardigan
What pink camo nails?

To be fair, there’s a lot more personal style exhibited these days at work. I had nothing to do with it, I swear, but I do appreciate it. It’s refreshing to see men and women at work be comfortable enough to express themselves through fashion.

{ style tip: }

When color blocking, keep any unnecessary flourishes to a minimum. Accessories can be bold as long as they’re simple. Keep in mind that the bright colors are providing a lot of impact, your outfit doesn’t require much else.

{ deets: }

Bright violet jersey dress/Nordstrom’s, scarlet tights/We Love Colors, aqua cardigan/Bloomingdale’s, black slouchy boots/Funky Monkey, necklace/Alexis Bittar.

 
20 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

Happiness, more or less

11 Apr

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tip, wearing silk flower pattern shirtdress with yellow belt
Flowers in the garden

If my life had an anthem, it would be this song, “Lucky Man” by The Verve. I heard it for the first time in Maui, about twelve years ago. I had gone on vacation by myself and made a friend, Janusz. We had a blast and introduced each other to our favorite music. He got Air, Moon Safari. I got The Verve, Urban Hymns. Here’s an excerpt:

Happiness
More or less
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

Well, I’m a lucky man
With fire in my hands

{ beauty: }

Style tip, Sally Hansen's Salon Effects real nail polish strip in pink camouflage
Pretty in pink

I don’t often post on this topic but I couldn’t resist sharing with you my latest find. There was a conversation on Twitter recently between @thecoveted, @gritandglamour and @beautifullyInv about Sally Hansen’s Salon Effects in Denim. I keep my nails very short for snowboarding during the winter. Given that it’s the end of the season they haven’t been looking their best. Eureka! A solution! Real nail polish strips, perfect for this busy modern woman. I dashed to my local Walgreen’s and picked up pink camo. I’ll report back on how long they lasted, but for now, I’m tickled pink with the results.

{ style tip: }

A confident colorful belt against a contrasting pattern defines the waistline with drama. It’s especially flattering on a shapeless shirtdress; defining and accenting curves, drawing the eye in to your beautiful, unique-to-you body. Enjoy it, love it, you’re the sole owner of it.

{ deets: }

Stretchy silk flower shirtdress/Express, yellow elastic belt/Anthropologie, aqua tights/unknown, black ballet flats/Ecco, (unseen), silver and mother-of-pearl necklace and cuff/Lois Hill.

The Verve – Lucky Man lyrics copyright of their respective owners.

 
24 Comments

Posted in Fashion

 

FBFF Q&A: The rules of engagement

31 Mar
Official facebook House in the Clouds page
Check out The House in the Clouds on facebook

 

Guess what? I’m really excited about this, I finally set up an official facebook page for The House in the Clouds. I’m still trying to figure out how to integrate a widget in a way that I find aesthetically pleasing. It feels painfully slow to be hindered by the reality of a full-time job and personal life, not to mention the stack of laundry decorating my office space, formerly known as the dining room. Check it out!

{ daily outfit: }

Daily outfit and style tips, wearing blue and coral pattern blouse with navy skirt and gold belt
Snuck away from a desk for a few to snap these on a beautiful afternoon
Daily outfit and style tips, wearing blue and coral pattern blouse with navy skirt and gold belt
We call this pose “looking for snails”

 

{ friend friday: }

We want our blogs to succeed however we have chosen to define that success. Most likely, we want to gain followers, fans, loyalty, even acclaim of some sort. We want to be recognized, we want to influence. It’s a daunting task at best, completely overwhelming to digest as a whole.

Our mothers warned us not to be too boastful, to play nice and to say “thank you.” Where is that fine line that we are supposed to ride, one that engages and encourages without becoming as annoying as a late night infomercial? How do we get there? What are the rules?

This is this weeks Fashion Beauty Friend Friday’s topic. Read on.

FBFF: Guest posts are a good way to gain exposure. What do you think is the appropriate way to go about securing a spot?

FJ: Personally, I’m a big fan of developing and nurturing connections. I make the most effort with those whose persona and voice appeal to me, those I would have just as likely been inclined to get to know in person. Once I feel that I have this type of rapport, discussing anything is easy. A dialogue and friendship already exists. I treat my online friendships with the same courtesy I extend everyone else, I don’t really have a specific tactic.

FBFF: Leaving comments is essential to growing your blog. But how can you leave a comment without coming across as “Follow Me. Follow Me!”?

FJ: Don’t make it your objective. It’s assumed you want to grow your blog but be cool, be genuine. People can tell when you’re not really into what their blog is about. Honestly, it’s just plain ol’ weird. We’re not little kids anymore. I would never walk up to a total stranger and ask them to be my friend and offer to be their friend. Where else in life is this acceptable for adults? It strips integrity from the action.

FBFF: We’ve all gotten a mass email at one time or another asking for blog exposure, a link exchange, etc… But the mass emails don’t work. How do you make your email stand out from the crowd?

FJ: There’s a huge difference between spam and a conversation. An email blast purely to promote my blog is marketing, more specifically, the worst kind of spam. I care to foster community or have a conversations, not be detached or irrelevant in the context of a group. It would be disrespectful in that context. Tweeting to people who have independently chosen to follow my blog is acceptable. Spamming within the confines of a group is using that group disrespectfully.

Here’s an example of how I did recently ask for support from some friends for my facebook page. Firstly, I had an easy, realistic goal: to reach over 25 “likes” in order to claim my name. Secondly, I sent an email to my best friends. Not everyone in my address book, that would have been really uncool. I sent an email to my absolute closest friends, those who have a vested interest in my success and would not be put out in helping me out in this fashion. I don’t make it a habit to do this so I didn’t worry that my actions would be interpreted as annoying and careless. They came through. Fantastic!

Why did this work? They know me, they like me, they support me. I laid out what I was hoping to achieve and how they could help. I made it clear and I only sent out one email. Why would a group of people who don’t know me want to help me? What’s in it for them if I have not made any attempt at developing a rapport with them? That’s reality. If I want support, I create and become an active participant in that group or community. Being purely self-serving is shallow and easy to ignore, it’s certainly not a likable trait.

FBFF: In interacting with other bloggers, where do you draw the line between seeking support and begging for exposure?

FJ: Seeking support is valid, we all benefit from a helping hand. We help, we get help, it’s a nice way for the world to go around. There’s really no line to draw, they may seem similar from afar but I know the difference between the two and I would never confuse one for the other. My actions speak to that very clear distinction.

I’ll speak loudly on this: there’s no integrity in begging. DON’T. GO. THERE. Don’t beg, Don’t plead. You want advice or support, just ask for it. Be genuine with your request. One hundred people is no more or less valuable than a single one. That is my absolute truth. It’s easy to get caught up, it’s human nature to compare ourselves to others’ successes and failures in order to assess ourselves. Every follower, every person who digs what I’m doing is an individual with their own worth, they’re not lumped in some category and boxed up to go. So why beg for exposure? I have it. It’s right here. If only two folks read my blog today, guess what? That’s two valuable humans. People aren’t numbers. There’s never a good reason to compromise ones self-esteem over anything.

FBFF: What’s one rule of engagement error you made and how have you remedied that?

FJ: I don’t recall making any. I took my time observing and learning before dipping my toes in the water. That just happens to be the kind of person I am. I might be all kinds of things but one would be hard-pressed to call me clueless. I pay attention, listen to others and I learn well. And no, I’m not going to point out my flaws to counterbalance that statement.

Thank you Katy of Modly Chic for crafting these questions. Friend Friday is an opportunity for fashion and beauty bloggers to share their thoughts on a specific topic and read what others have to say on that same topic. For more information, check out Modly Chic and welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!

 

{ style tip: }

I matched my belt and tights to one of the colors in the pattern of my blouse. It provided contrast nicely without being jarring or too matchy-matchy. It was a way to keep the outfit colorful without introducing yet another color. The somewhat sheer tights are a sparkly ochre yellow which made them fun, but the sheerness kept the sparkle from becoming overwhelming.

 

{ deets: }

Blouse/ModCloth, navy blue skirt/MaxStudio, elastic belt/Anthropologie, sparkly tights/Urban Outfitters, brown vegan suede boots/Munro, necklace/Linkel Designs.

Photos: Filip Jach